Mindfulness

I suck at multitasking. There. I've admitted it. It's out there. I think I'm good at multitasking, as I often am working on many, many things at one time, but at the end of the hour, afternoon, day, I look around and see that while I may have done many things, really, I haven't actually accomplished anything.

Worst of all, all this busyness has distracted me from my kids. So, not only have I not accomplished anything, I also have neglected spending some quality time with the boys, which is why I'm home doing all this crazy stuff in the first place.

It's hard to admit to the multitasking problem, because it is fun to be busy. I love being home, but I miss working in an office with the routine of publishing deadlines and specific tasks, and a boss giving guidance on prioritizing. I miss the thrill of working hard and making that last FedEx departure. Yes. I miss having a boss, because some days I look at the house and the zillion things that need to be done, and I don't know where to start, and one job leads to another and to another and then the day is over, the house is a mess, the clothes are still in the dryer and I get to start all over in the morning.

But wait. I digress. The point I'm trying to make here is that while I may think I'm able to check email, update Facebook, listen to NPR, clean the toy room and and spend quality time with my kids, I can't.

So today, I sat on the floor and played with Nick, ignoring the crumbs of dog treats underneath us. I read to Christopher at random points of the day, not just at bedtime, and didn't try to clean up around him while we were hanging out. I didn't shoo Steve off to bed as soon as we finished his latest Magic Treehouse, but spent some time just snugging and talking about his book and his day. And yes, the toy room is still a mess, the clothes are still in the dryer and I have zillion things that need to be done. But today when I was with my boys, I was really WITH my boys, and despite the disaster surrounding me, I think I got something right today.

But, now that they are asleep, Facebook here I come!